Dear Beloved,
Today is just a day.
You are not a failure, you are finite.
You aren't going under for the year, you're only 12 days in.
You can't change what you can't control.
You are loved even if you are lonely.
Have you ever had one of these days? Where everything feels zero to sixty? Where you move from "I'm OK this isn't that bad" to "THE SKY IS FALLING?" and you don't know how to make it stop? The lies. The intimidating beat down of unmet expectations where you suffocate grace and feed off of fear.
I have.
I've sat white-knuckled in the car, willing myself not to let the tears that are building spill over. I've sat down and tried to breathe through the storm brewing in my heart and mind. I've sat down and made myself think about something. Anything other than how I'm feeling.
Eventually, the clouds do break. And there is some sort of relief that comes. Most importantly, in the calming of the storm, you somehow remember that you will not always feel this way.
What is true about the Lord and what is ultimately true about you exists outside of how you feel.
““She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear doubt and distrust.] ”
It burns.
It burns through.
But it doesn't burn out.
Its a choice to taste and see in the burning.
To taste and see that the Lord is good and His love endures forever. (Psalm 34:8)
To taste and see that her gain from her work is good (Proverbs 31:18) because the Lord wastes nothing. (1 Corinthians 15:58)
To taste and see that He works only for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)
To taste and see that He will never leave or forsake. (Deuteronomy 31:6)
To taste and see that He has begun a work that is not finished. (Philippians 1:6)
““She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm. “”
What does it mean to taste and see?
What does it mean to burn through the night?
What does it mean to gird oneself with strength?
I think it begins with the Truth. And the truth that I know is written above, but is also penned through song. For me, there are many nights, that for me to keep burning and not to burn out, I have to bathe myself in spirit-led worship. If you're like me, I've made a playlist just for you.
I also encourage you to look up and write down the scriptures above and keep them with you. Moses told the Israelites to literally write God's words on their walls and place them on their foreheads and bind them to their wrists so that the words of the Law would be cemented into their hearts and we would be able to share it from one generation to the next. (Deuteronomy 6:1-9) I love that the Lord knows us so well that He knows we need the truth to be that close to us to survive the storms of our own feelings.
Deep breaths. Tomorrow is a new day.
“But there’s one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He’s all I’ve got left.
God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It’s a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It’s a good thing when you’re young
to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The “worst” is never the worst.
Why? Because the Master won’t ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.”